What I'm about to do is either really brilliant or really stupid.
It will either put an end to this inner turmoil that I've been dealing with or make it worse.

Either way, it'll be nice to know the consequences. After all, what's really eating away at me is the uncertainty. That's the whole reason I've been trying to just forget it all. For some reason, I thought that if I could just clear my mind of it all, I could go back to living my life as I used to.

At least, that's what I thought at first.
But I tried that, and I found that I've grown and changed too much to just try to act like I did before I met her. And so I tried different levels of changing myself, and slowly trying to kill off my inner hippy.

Needless to say, that didn't work. I don't know what level of brilliance was going on in my subconscious when I added the Beatles' "1" and Rush's "Moving Pictures" to the handful of CDs I was buying, but listening to them, I realized something: I've...
I've always had a bit of an inner hippie.

This isn't the best analogy, but trying to kill that off to better myself would be like some aspiring drummer cutting off one of his arms in an attempt to play drums at the skill level of Rick Allen of Def Leppard. It would be a needless sacrifice that would benefit me very little, if at all.

Which brings me to my next point: why continue trying what obviously isn't working?

I mean, yeah, I'm still a little pissed about something, but the whole "try to act like I never knew her" thing was just causing pain, and if I had somehow succeeded, I would never again see the second most awesome person in the world (the first most awesome being myself, of course. ).

And so, here I go.
I don't know exactly what I'm going to say, but I do know that it's either going to be great or terrible.
Wish me luck!

I just wish that she wasn't still in Montana, so that I could actually say all I'm about to say to her face instead of leaving it as a wall post on Facebook.

Haha...
I started typing up the Facebook wall post I mentioned, but the more I went along the more it became apparent to me that this sort of thing just... doesn't quite work as text. There's so much that the facial expressions say, so much that'd be lost in text. I tried to continue a bit more anyways, but it was raining pretty hard outside, and I lost my internet(s). Rather than stay awake and wait it out, I decided that I should just wait until I see her again.

It won't be fun waiting, though...